Paris me manque

So I have been home from Paris for a little while now, which has given me plenty of time to reflect on the experience. There are things I miss about Paris every day. When the waitress doesn't give me bread with my salad, I miss Paris. When carolers sing in the airport and I work to a avoid eye contact for fear they will ask me for money, I miss Paris.

Being out of Paris has given me the opportunity to see how I have changed as a person due to all my experiences there. It is strange to be put back in a familiar environment with a different view of the world. Everything else is the same, but I know that I have changed. I have Paris to thank for that.

Locking my lock on the bridge

The most beautiful city in the world

Champs-Elysees

My last day in Paris was the best way to leave. I got to spend the day with Cara doing all the things we like to do, which includes eating and taking gouters. We also rode the big ferris wheel overlooking the Champs-Elysees. It was magical.

My plane ride back was long and tiring, but kind of passed in a blur of sleep, free apple juice and children's movies. The Canadian airport suddenly reminded me I was not in Paris anymore. People were smiling and happy and talking to everyone. I kept wanting to ask, "Are we friends? Do we know each other?" I was so unused to the outward friendliness.It made me happy at first, but soon made me miss Paris, where a smile is truly a gift and it is always special when you receive one.

I know that as time progresses, I will be introduced to more ways in which I have changed. I think everything will just need a bit of patience, which I will have to muster up.

The question is, do I keep blogging? I am no longer in Paris and that is why I started the blog. I have been thinking maybe I will continue with a different blog, one about my life in California, but it is definitely lacking in adventure. We will see what happens.

Child with Toy Hand Grenade in Central Park

Something finally clicked for me today.

I woke up late, not sure what I wanted to do, so I decided to head to Tuileries to go to the Musee Orangerie since I hadn't been yet. I took a wrong metro exit and ended up at a different museum, which had a Diane Arbus exhibit. I love Diane Arbus so I knew I just had to go. Unfortunately I was so hungry, to the point where I was almost positive my stomach had started eating itself. But it was Diane Arbus! I decided to go inside.

Upon entering the museum, I found out it is one of the few in Paris that was going to actually make me pay to get in. A this is the last week and everyone is short on funds, I wasn't sure if I wanted to pay. But, again, it was Diane Arbus! Here's my lunch money, Mrs. Museum Lady.

What I can tell you is this: it was worth every penny. Diane Arbus' work is so beautiful and magnificent and everything I already knew it to be. She has used her camera not just to take a picture of a person, but to capture a time long forgotten. She made those who were not usually looked at in a beautiful way be a piece of art. Her photographs helped change the way I looked at her subjects.

It was in this moment, standing in front of a photo of a young child holding a toy grenade, that I realized what I want to do with my life. I want to capture. I want to capture moments in time, moments in space, moments within moments.

I have always loved taking pictures, for as long as I can remember, but it was in this moment that I realized that it was more than just a fun hobby. I want to do this for the rest of my life.

So thanks to a wrong exit and my lunch money, I learned something about myself. I learned that sometimes we just need to look into the eyes of someone else to realize what we have inside ourselves.

Tu me manque

It has recently set in that I a leaving Paris in about 10 days, which makes me happy and sad at the same time. I started thinking about all the things I will miss when I go back home.

1. Cafes. I love getting to sit down, take a coffee and people watch. There is nothing like this experience. I noticed the difference when we went to Belgium and they told us they were "only serving dinner". What? You mean I can't have a coffee and watch people pass by? There is a problem there.

2. The pudding I get after dinner. It's fantastic. Layered caramel, vanilla and whipped cream, all in one little container. They are so good and I don't know where I will find them.

3. Stores just for cheese, meat or bread. What ever happened to those? I want to be able to go to a shop and get my camembert and a different store for my baguette. It makes sense for places to specialize in what they are good at. It's old fashioned, but it works.

4. Speaking French. I am finally getting good and now I have to leave back to a place where I will have no one to talk to. I don't want to lose everything I've learned.

5. The Eiffel Tower. It was the first thing I saw when I got here and it's going to be the last thing I see when I leave. I don't know what life will be like without it in my backyard.

This is obviously not everything I'm going to miss. I'm going to miss Angelina's Chocolat Chaud emporter. I'm going to miss considering bread and cheese to be lunch. I'm going to miss everything.

Mussels in Brussels

For one of my last weekends in Europe (sad I know) I went with friends to Belguim, land of waffles, fries and chocolate. It was such a fun weekend. I think the best part was staying in an apartment rather than a hostel. Having a home base made it so much better.

We got there early Friday, which gave us plenty of time to explore the Christmas market in Brussels. There was an abundance of food, including everything from mushrooms with garlic sauce to bratwurst. I like eating, so I felt right at home. Brussels has lots of beautiful architecture, which I got to see on my way to Delirium, land of flavored beers. I tried beer that tastes like mangoes, beer that tastes like cherries AND beer that tasted like apples. All in all a great day of eating and drinking. There was also an incredible light show in the main square that took my breath away.

Brussels!

Pink elephant mascot for a bar. Really?

No fries in the store

More eating was done the next day, starting at the Neuhaus chocolate factory. They sell their chocolate much cheaper there than in the stores so we made the journey. Also, you can sample all the chocolates you want, which meant we all ended up with stomach aches and leaving with no purchased chocolate. 

We then took the train to Brugge, a small town about an hour from Brussels. It was so beautiful there. Of course there was another Christmas market, filled with good food and drinks. Wandering around the town, we stumbled upon the most beautiful scene: a restaurant on the river had hung paper lanterns in their tree, which hung over the water. The buildings around were slightly lit and reflected in the calm water. It could not be made more perfect until 8 swans swam through. Brugge was so perfect.

Polar Bear at the Brussels train station

Beautiful Brugge

The next day meant another day in Brussels, but most of us weren't feeling well so we got kind of a late start. Sahar and I went skating at the Brussels Christmas market, which was so much fun! I hadn't been ice skating since I was a kid and didn't realize how much I missed it. It took a little while to get the hang of it again, but once I did, I didn't want to stop. Well that is until the muscles in my legs and back reminded me I have not been working them recently. For dinner we ended up having Mussels (in Brussels, haha). They were sooo good and so filling.

We got to the train station in plenty of time for our 9:30 train back to Paris. Unfortunately for us, the train we were supposed to take broke down before it even left the station. We were then put onto another train headed for Paris, which was already full. Obviously something that was not going to work. They then pulled up a new train for us, by this time it was already around 11:00, which was when we were supposed to have arrived back in Paris if our original train had been fine. There was a mad rush for the new train, which ended with us in first class. Not bad for a broken down train.

Though I am still exhausted from the weekend and still feeling sick, I think the weekend in Brussels was one of the most fun of the whole trip. Brussels is a great place and getting to be there with Cara, Sam and Sahar made it so much fun. Though I may not touch another fry for a while, it was a perfect way to spend one of my last weekends.

"A Smile is a Gift"

I may have already mentioned this before in a previous blog. So you can choose not to read this one if you want, but I suggest you stick around because it's going to be full of heartfelt prose. Maybe.

One of my very first days in Paris, when we were all bemoaning the phenomenon of unsmiling Parisians, one of our guides told us that in this fine city, "a smile is a gift." Unlike the United States, it is not doled out to just anyone. It is something that requires something special, which makes it all the more worth it to receive one.

For months I did my best Parisian, not smiling just because. This was extremely difficult for me. I didn't smile at the stranger on the street, like I would usually do (which is probably good because sometimes strangers in the street are creepy.) But the storekeepers, doormen and ticket takers didn't get the big ol' Kirsten smile, which shows all teeth I might add.

I kept this up for a long time, but recently I began to feel like a part of my personality was being stifled. I can't not smile. I am a happy person. And in my opinion, a smile can brighten up someone's day. I decided to make the change back to my usual self, smiling at those when I feel a smile coming on.

What I quickly learned that it was not just the smiles of others that were a gift, it was mine as well. When I smiled at someone, that was a little gift in their day. People at first seemed surprised, but were visibly happy about having someone smile at them. Because they are smiled at so rarely, it was almost shocking to them.

Moral of the story is: your smile is a gift. It is a gift that can brighten up someone's bad day. It can help them get through a rough patch. It can mend bridges and strengthen ties. Don't keep a smile to yourself, let it out. (Just make sure the person isn't crazy first.)

And now a little something to make you all smile:

Thanksgiving in Paris!

Today is (American) thanksgiving. Canada had theirs awhile ago so technically I already missed it but I remembered it was thanksgiving because everyone's statuses for the past 2 days have had something to do with eating and turkey. We had a thanksgiving lunch at school, which was really great. It made me miss thanksgiving at home with all the turkey and stuffing and cranberry sauce. The food's not what is important though. Today got me really thinking about all the things that I am thankful for. I'm thankful for...

...getting to spend the last 3 months in Paris. This experience has changed my life so much. Every day when I walk down the street, I think about how truly lucky I am to be here. Every single experience has worked to turn me into a better, more intelligent person. I have changed so much since I have been here, more than I ever though was possible. I am so thankful for all the people who worked to help me get here. From driving me to my visa appointment to calming me down when I was freaking out.

...for my family. Thanks for being the only people to never judge me, even through my crazier phases. Also thanks for making me food and letting me sleep in until "a million o'clock."

...for my friends. It takes special people to put up with me. You all have added to my life and I love all of you. I would never trade any of you for anything in the world.

...easy laughs. Pizza. Good music. Smiles with strangers.

And since this wasn't a very Parisy blog, let me leave you with some pictures.

SANCTUARY!

I am supposed to be doing the reading for my class tomorrow, but instead I'm going to blog. Procrastinating? Maybe.

I made a list of all the things I have to do before I leave Paris because sadly, there is not much time left. I thought 4 months was going to seem long, but as the last 3 (and a bit) weeks lie ahead, I am filled with a incompleteness, as if I am missing something in this city before I have even left. In comes my type A personality with a list.

Today's items crossed off: The garden at Musee Rodin and The top of Notre Dame cathedral

To be perfectly honest, I don't know much about Rodin or his work. I know the Thinker... yah, I thought about it and that's all I know. Though I don't have a huge background in his work, I knew I wanted to see Rodin's thinker while I was here, so today we headed off to the gardens. Lucky for us, our student cards and visas get us into all museums and monuments for free.

The gardens were beautiful. Very well kept and, I was surprised to learn, not receiving funding from the government. The Thinker statue was right by the entrance, sandwiched between views of Invalides and the Eiffel Tower. We explored all the gardens and also had tea and breakfast (baguettes with butter and jam) at the small cafe on the grounds.

We headed from Musee Rodin to Notre Dame. I have been waiting for this day my whole life. I'm sure most kids loved Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame. Most kids did not theme their birthday party after it. And I mean, I had my mom making a Quasimodo pinata and my dad working on grey frosting for the Notre Dame cake. Best. Birthday. EVER! Anyways, back to today. So I was pretty excited to go up where Quasimodo lives. We even got to go inside and see the big bell! And the gargoyles! It was definitely an amazing experience. Unfortunately it was a little foggy over the city today, but it didn't hurt the beautiful view.

Bored by the Pompidou

He gets to look at the Eiffel Tower every day

It's after days like this that I get scared to go back to the US. I'm scared of the culture shock. I am living in one of the most cultured places in the world. Manners are not optional, they are customary. I say bonjour when I enter a store and merci, au revoir when I leave. It's not a matter of being nice or not, it's just polite. I don't want to have to worry that I will be rushed from my table when I am finished eating at a restaurant. I want to be able to take my time and enjoy the company of those around me. I am scared I will no longer fit.